TOTAL RECALL

If memories can be manufactured and bought, then how can we ever know what is truly real? This theme of the Philip K. Dick story "We Can Remember It for You Wholesale" was virtually ignored in the first movie Total Recall -- and also given short shrift in the the new Total Recall. While the remake skips some of the cheesiness that comes with being an Arnold Schwarzenegger action movie, like its predecessor the new movie skips thoughtfulness for action.

It's the end of the 21st century, and the world is in bad shape. After massive chemical wars, there are only two main populated areas on Earth: the technologically advanced United Federation of Britain, led by Chancellor Cohaagen (Bryan Cranston), and the slumlike Colony. Workers travel from the Colony to the UFB through the Fall, a transport device that travels through the Earth. Rebel leader Matthias (Bill Nighy) believes the UFB takes advantage of the citizens of the Colony ("The Fall enslaves us all"), while Cohaagen blames the rebellion for terrorist attacks in the UFB. There are robotic policemen and massive overcrowding. Welcome ot the future, folks!

Doug Quaid (Colin Farrell) is a simple factory worker who travels from the Colony to the UFB to work at a mindless, dead-end job. His wife Lori (Kate Beckinsale) tries to reassure him life is good for them, but Doug feels unsatisfied. He also has a recurring dream of being captured after rescuing a beautiful woman. Not sleeping and not happy, Doug goes to Rekall, a company that can implant memories in people. And Doug decides to get the memory of being a secret agent.

Unfortunately, before the process can be completed, Rekall says he already has memories of being a spy, and government troops come in guns blazing -- and Doug kills them all. Doug returns home -- where Lori now tries to kill him with martial arts and lots of bullets. Doug finds clues from himself saying that he was a resistance agent who was given a false identity by the government. And Melina (Jessica Biel), the woman Doug dreamed of, turns up as a fellow resistance agent who used to have a relationship with Doug.

This Total Recall scales back much of the original movie (no Mars, yes three-breasted hooker) but still skips most of the intriguing questions of identity and memory ("If I'm not me, than who the hell am I?") to focus instead on gunfights, (future) car chases, and fist fights. The cast have all done better work elsewhere, but here they seem very superficial, whether it's Farrell's continually-confused everyman-turned-action-hero or Cranston's evil politician. (The fun exception is Kate Beckinsale, who takes the "vindictive wife" to a whole new level as she pursues Doug like a bat out of hell.) Anyone who saw the first film knows 95% of what will happen in this one; anyone who didn't will get a few good ideas and a whole lot of noise and action. Total Recall is a total rehash -- and substantially less than entertaining.

Overall grade: D+
Reviewed by James Lynch

UNDERWORLD AWAKENING

The Underworld movies have always revolved around the war between the vampires and werewolves, er, Lycans, but in Underworld: Awakening a new enemy enters the mix: humans. Also, Kate Beckinsale returns as Selena, the ultra-lethal vampire Death Dealer (still wearing her fetish-inspired outfit, of course).

Set shortly after the second movie (and largely ignoring the prequel Underworld: Rise of the Lycans), the humans have learned of the existence of both vampires and werewolves, declaring a war on both species with the Purge. With both races being slaughtered by humans, Selene and her hybrid lover Michael are trying to escape when they get knocked out.
Selene awakens from a cryogenic chamber in a lab in the Antigen company -- and learns she's been unconscious for twelve years! And while she can't sense Michael, she has a psychic connection with Eve (India Eisley), who turns out to be the daughter of Selene and Michael (and the one who freed Selene). So the mother-daughter duo head on the run.

But wait -- there's more! (More cliches, that is.) Dr. Jacob Lane (Stephen Rea), the apparent head of Antigen, created the hybrid Eve and wants her and Selene captured. The Lycans have been virtually eradicated and have devolved to near-feral savages. Detective Sebastian (Michael Ealy) is investigating an apparent Lycan killing and keeps spotting Selene. An underground vampire coven is divided, with David (Theo James) wanting to help Selene and fight the humans while his father Thomas (Charles Dance) wants to remain hidden and survive. And there's also a giant, nigh-invulnerable Lycan running around, not to mention a plot twist...

Despite making the humans the main enemy, Underworld: Awakening is almost identical to the previous movies. Selene can move with super-speed and has amazing strength, yet she spends most of the movie rapid-firing a pair of pistols and bouncing around in slow motion. There are the usual debates/arguments among the vampires (this time fight vs. flight accompanies the old hatred of hybrids), and the storylines are very predictable. It's also amusing that most of the movie revolves around protecting Eve, considering she's one of the most powerful characters in the movie; and she looks so scary when mad she's easily be the evil villain in any other movie.

And so, Underworld: Awakening is more of the same, only with humans and a hybrid kid tossed in the mix. Kate Beckinsale looks great (as always) but can't give Selene any real depth here. The movie is a barely-there investigation, lots of gunfights with cgi creatures (and easily-slaughtered humans), and the always-present muted bluish lighting. The end of this movie seems to be setting the stage for another sequel, but since Underworld: Awakening is so similar to the previous movies, why bother?

Overall grade: D
Reviewed by James Lynch

WHITEOUT

If you take a murder mystery and set it in Antarctica, you get... a murder mystery with a lot of ice and snow. Whiteout is a routine whodunit in a new setting.

U.S. Carrie Stetko (Kate Beckinsale) is the law at a remote Antarctic research station that's days from being evacuated in several days due to an oncoming storm. Stetko has a haunted past (shown in flashbacks), a friend in elderly doctor John "Doc" Fury (Tom Skeritt), and a desire to leave law enforcement. When recent pilot Delfy (Columbus Short) sees a body on the ice, Stetko investigates.

Soon Stetko is immersed in a mystery. Who killed a scientist from another base -- and why was he in the middle of nowhere with no gear? Can agent Pryce (Gabriel Macht) be trusted -- or did he turn up near another victim because he's the killer? And what does all this have to do with a Russian plane that crashed 50 years earlier?

Whiteout is most illuminating when it gives glimpses of living in a part of the world where below freezing is the norm. Guide ropes link buildings so people don't get lost and freeze to death dozens of feet away from safety. Touching metal with a bare hand can have terrible consequences. And everyone is a suspect.

As a mystery movie, Whiteout offers little new beyond the location. A mystery figure dressed all in black pops up now and then to swing an ice axe at people, the aforementioned guide ropes serve to offer up chase scenes set in a very small area, and characters voice what they see and think in case simply showing it to the audience isn't enough. None of the actors really stand out (and I think it's sexist that Beckinsale is shown stripping down to her underwear, then showering, before her character even speaks) and the mystery's revelation is neither disappointing nor thrilling. Once you get past the blinding snows in Whiteout, you realize you've seen it all before.

Overall grade: C
Reviewed by James Lynch