WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS dvd

Vampires have inspired numerous interpretations -- horrific creatures, romantic figures, angst-driven souls -- but what if, in modern times, they tried to live in the modern world?  This is the basis for What We Do in the Shadows, a mockumentary about what can happen when the traditional vampire comes face to face with the modern world.

What We Do in the Shadows begins with four centuries-old vampires living as flatmates in Wellington, New Zealand.  Viago (Taiki Waititi) is a bit of a dandy who laments his lost love -- and tries to get his flatmates to follow through on their responsibilities on the chore wheel.  Vladislav (Jermaine Clement) has a hypnotic gaze and considers himself dangerous; he also obsesses over his losing battles with a supernatural entity called the Beast.  Deacon (Jonny Brugh) considers himself the cool one in the group; he also has a human familiar: Jackie (Jackie van Beek), a bored housewife who serves Deacon in the hopes he'll someday turn her into a vampire.  Finally there's Petyr (Ben Fransham), the oldest vampire; he resembles the creature from Nosferatu and rarely leaves his stone coffin in the basement.

The vampires have invited two cameramen to film them at their daily activities, whether wandering around town looking for victims, entertaining themselves in their flat, looking for a fight with werewolves ("We're werewolves, not swear-wolves"), or preparing for the Unholy Masquerade ball for supernatural beings.  Changes start when their victim Nick (Cori Gonzalez-Maceur) becomes a vampire and starts bringing them into the modern age -- as well as telling everyone that he's a vampire.  ("Twilight!")  There's also Stu (Stu Rutherford), a friend of Nick's who quickly becomes more popular with the vampires than Nick, and who they all agree not to eat.

 What We Do in the Shadows is quite a funny take on the vampire genre.  All the standards of vampirism are there -- killing for blood, bursting into flame in sunlight, hypnotism, flying, turning into bats, needing to be invited someplace, not having a reflection -- but they all become part of the vampires' almost mundane existence in their home and about town.  There are lots of funny lines, and stars Taiki and Jermaine also direct the film with a simple and straightforward touch that makes the situations even funnier.  What We Do in the Shadows is a light comedy (about inhuman killers) that's quite enjoyable.  (Sadly and surprisingly, there are no extras on the dvd.)

Overall grade: B+
Reviewed by James Lynch

DRACULA (1931)

When it comes to vampires, everyone knows Bela Lugosi's accent (and most of us have imitated it at least once) -- and that's because 1931's Dracula was and is the gold standard for vampires in film.

The film begins in eastern Europe, where Renfield (Dwight Frye) has been summoned to the massive, decrepit castle of Count Dracula (Bela Lugosi) to arrange passage to England, for Dracula and his wives.  Renfield falls under Dracula's powerful stare, and at the end of the sea voyage the crew of the vessel are all dead -- and Renfield is completely insane.

In England, Refield is under the care of Dr. Seward (Herbert Bunston), who runs a sanitarium.  His daughter Mina (Helen Chandler) is engaged to John Harker (David Manners) -- but she's also attracted the attention of Dracula, who had drained the blood and killed several people in London.   Dracula seems intent on seducing Mina and turning her into the undead, just like him.

But there's hope in Dr. Van Helsing (Edward Van Sloan), a doctor who embraces rather than dismisses the superstitious tales of the vampires.  He suspects and soon knows what Dracula is -- and he has the means to defeat the vampire and save Mina.  That is, if Dracula doesn't destroy them all first...

Dracula is a beautiful work of horror.  Even with the limited special effects of the time, the audience will believe vampires can transform into bats or wolves, or drain someone's blood with their dark embrace.  The acting is excellent (especially Lugosi and the seductive,foreign count, Frye as the lunatic, and Van Sloan as the blend of the scientific and superstitious) and the atmosphere of danger, dread, and repressed sexuality creates a truly memorable film.

There have been nigh-innumerable adaptions of the Dracula story and its legacy, but the original Dracula remains the best.

Overall grade: A+

Reviewed by James Lynch

Soulless (2009) and Changeless (2010) - Gail Carriger

These two books, Soulless and Changeless, are the first two in what appears to be an open-ended series, the Alexia Tarrabotti novels, or the "Parasol Protectorate." They are a mish-mash of Steampunk, nearly-sparkly Vampires and not-quite-brooding werewolves. I must say, at the outset, I enjoyed them rather more than I felt I ought.

As I say, the setting takes as its jumping off point, a Victorian steampunk world, and then postulates that one of the reasons for the preeminence of the British Empire is the fact that King Henry VIII embraced the supernatural, incorporating vampires and werewolves into British society. Werewolves often serve in the military, vampires are high-society hosts, and so forth. This conceit of Miss Carriger's works well and helps to elevate the book above the glut of vampire and werewolf fiction.

The other aspect of the books which turns reading them from simple guilt into guilty or not-so-guilty pleasure is the sense of humour. One pull quote compares her wit to that of Austen and Wodehouse. While I would not go quite that far, after all, P.G. Wodehouse is one of the great stylists of the English language, Miss Carriger does bring a witty touch to her writing. Our heroine, Alexia Tarrabotti, has a best friend naturally, named Ivy Hisselpenny. Her half-sisters are the Misses Loontwill. If those names do not strike you as at least slightly amusing, then perhaps these books are not for you.

Miss Carriger also has put some thought into her setting, both the steampunk and the supernatural, which makes it internally consistent. Some of the touches that she has added to the well trodden ground of vampire-and-werewolf are quite innovative, and are fully integrated into the larger world of the books.

The drawback to the books, and call me a prude if you must, lies in the extended and somewhat indelicate interludes between Alexia and her eventual husband, the werewolf Earl of Woolsey. The problem is not simply one of taste, I'm afraid. The books have a somewhat affected style, which mocks ever so slightly, but in a loving way, Victorian literature and mores. The more overt erotic passages are, as a result, a bit jarring, since their tone does not quite fit with the rest of the narrative.

However, that is a minor quibble. The books are a great deal of fun, and I enjoyed the first two immensely, although a tendency toward cliff-hangerism is becoming more pronounced. There are four books in the series to date, and although I have not yet read books three and four, I fully intend to, and if you are looking for a ripping yarn, some clever wordplay, and a nicely executed twist on the standard tropes of fang and claw, perhaps you should, too.

Overall Grade: B to B+

EMBRACE OF THE VAMPIRE dvd

I've always found it interesting and hypocritical that Blockbuster Video, as a "family movie store," won't carry porn but will carry R-rated movies that exist solely to show off scantily-clad women and barely bother with anything else, like plot or acting. If you took such a movie, tossed in some well-known actors (including an Academy Award winner), and made it supposedly about vampires but really about sex, you'd have Embrace of the Vampire. This 1995 movie does go a bit further with skin on the unrated edition but maintains all the flaws of this exploitative genre.

Embrace of the Vampire begins in medieval times. A man (played by Martin Kemp, former bass player for Spandau Ballet; really) has a romantic relationship with a chaste princess (Rebecca Ferratti, who has no lines and slightly more screen time), but he is attacked by three barely-dressed nymphs and becomes a vampire. (Since the movie never bothers to give him a name, let's just call him Vampire.) Jump to the present, and Vampire is, for some reason, three days away from death. But there's hope!

College freshman Charlotte (Alyssa Milano) is Vampire's soulmate, apparently because she sort of resembles his long-lost ex. Charlotte is a virgin (she was raised by -- I kid you not -- nuns) whose continuing chastity is frustrating to her boyfriend Chris (Harold Pruett). Charlotte wears white clothes, always has a crucifix on, and could only come across as more sweet and innocent if she were played by a stuffed animal. And she turns eighteen in -- you guessed it -- three days.

For some reason, Vampire won't die if Charlotte falls in love with him and gives herself to him. But he can't just grab and convert her (why not is never explained), nor can he kill off Chris (though he has no problem dispatching plenty of other teens in the movie). Instead, Vampire keeps sending her erotic visions or whispered dialogue on the futility of love, replacing her crucifix with an Egyptian ankh (which, we're told, has "sexual powers"), and sending sexy vampire Marika (Jennifer Tilly, the aforementioned Academy Award winner; but certainly not for this) to seduce Chris.

Of course, in this sort of movie sexual temptations are everywhere. There's Charlotte's friend Nicole (Rachel True), who urges Charlotte to play the field. There's bitchy popular girl Eliza (Jordan Ladd), who spikes Charlotte's drink at a party. There's sexy foreign student Sarah (Charlotte Lewis) who tries for a lesbian seduction via photography. Heck, even Charlotte's art history class is all about sex. What's a virgin to do?

The Embrace of the Vampire dvd has both R-rated and unrated versions, and if you're watching this movie you've got to watch latter version. As opposed to the Blockbuster-style exploitation film, this has Milano topless quite frequently, very close to naked sometimes, and even briefly in a foursome. (It wasn't easy finding movie stills I could use in this review.) It's safe to say that showing off her body is the reason Embrace of the Vampire exists.

Unfortunately, most of the movie doesn't involve nudity -- and those are the times Embrace of the Vampire falls apart. The characters are all paper-thin and forgettable, there's no subtlety (from the ankh glowing to Charlotte becoming a "bad girl" by switching to a red dress and black lipstick), and the plot really makes no sense. (Vampire survived for hundreds of years, but he somehow knows he'll die on Charlotte's eighteenth birthday? Vampire can kill everyone but his biggest obstacle?) Many works have explored the links between vampires and sexuality -- from the original Dracula to many works of Anne Rice to (shudder) the Twilight saga -- but Embrace of the Vampire contents itself with lots of nudity and vampires snarling a lot. This movie works if you want a skinflick that you can pretend is a horror movie, but it fails as anything else.

Overall grade: D-
(but A- for prurient reasons)

Reviewed by James Lynch

Twilight (Summit Entertainment, 2008)

The movie Twilight, based on a novel by Stephenie Meyer, tells the story of a teenage girl named Bella and a vampire, Edward, who fall for each other. Kristen Stewart (Panic Room) stars as Bella and Robert Pattingson (Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire) as the Jim-Stark-esque bloodsucker.

Clearly, the leads are invested in doing a good job and yield earnest performances. Their portrayals walk the difficult line between "brooding" and appearing to be falling in love. Bella's friends from high school complement the leads with their perkiness, particularly Eric (Justin Chon) and Jessica (Anna Kendrick). Although romance is at the film's center, action arises in the form of a sports game as well as in the form of a fight sequence, the latter as Edward and his family rally to protect Bella from a vicious, out-of-town vampire. The scenery is terrific; highlights include forests of the Pacific Northwest and stately, 70-year-old Kalama High School, moodily captured on overcast days.

On the down side, there are some plot holes. For example, Edward uses his secret superpowers to save Bella from being crushed by a car in view of numerous kids, yet no one besides Bella becomes curious. Later in the film, after Edward's family thoughtfully prepares a meal for Bella on the occasion of formally meeting her, she declines because she already ate. Surely a hopelessly lovestruck gal would compromise to show some appreciation -- maybe have a salad and samples. Of course, some reason was needed for the one family member who's skeptical of the liaison to "snap" and voice her disapproval, but that could've been woven in more skillfully. And, during the fight sequence, Bella is seriously injured: hit, bitten, sent careering over jagged shards of broken mirror. Shortly after, we see her hospitalized but not visibly much worse for the wear. In the most obvious sense, that would suggest she's superhuman like Edward (but I gather that's not the case). In at least these three spots, the plot could've been tightened up.

Despite the parts that ring false, these in my estimation seem "innocent" enough not to detract that much from the overall picture. The earnest lead performances are what's most obvious, and if you allow yourself to go with them you may have a li'l harmless vampire fun.

Overall grade: B+

reviewed by David Nofer