X-Rated 2: The Greatest Adult Stars of All Time!

After Showtime's documentary on the greatest adult movies of all time, it makes sense that they'd follow it up with a documentary on the adult industry's biggest stars.  X-Rated 2: The Greatest Adult Stars of All Time! does better than the original documentary, as this one provides more structure and information.

Hosted by Mr. Skin, this documentary is a mix of talking heads (from the adult movie industry, plus Whoopi Goldberg, Rob Zombie, and Steven Soderbergh), and movie clips of the featured star.  Hosted by Mr. Skin, X-Rated 2 is divided into several sections, each with their reason for what makes their subjects the greatest: popularity, longevity in the industry, men (though males appeared in the other categories as well), colored/minority performers, alternative/kinky performers, dramatic actors, those who crossed over into mainstream/pop culture, and the two biggest stars of all time from porn.

In addition to the people commenting on the choices, each "greatest adult star" also appears, either interviewed for the documentary or in archival footage.  Most are positive about the work, though several are quite candid about the problems in the industry, such as when Misty Rain talks about how white actors get paid more than minority actors.  We get the years each performer appeared in adult films, and the clips of the stars are accompanies by the name of the feature.

Such a listing is fairly subjective, and there are plenty of stars who were left off that should have been here.  (For me, the big absence is Asia Carrera.)  This is acknowledged by Mr. Skin: "It's fair to say that the list is far from complete."  That said, X-Rated 2: The Greatest Adult Stars of All Time! is a fine documentary.  It makes a case for every person who made the list, it gives some good behind-the-scenes information, from the classic era to those still performing, and the simply providing the information on the stars and clips provides the curious with some movies to look for.  Best-of lists are tricky, but X-Rated 2: The Greatest Adult Stars of All Time! handles it quite well.

Overall grade: A-
Reviewed by James Lynch

X-RATED: THE GREATEST ADULT MOVIES OF ALL TIME

It's incredibly common for people to compile lists of the best-ever things in a category, and many movie genres are analyzed and listed in this way.  Showtime gets in on this action with their documentary about X-Rated: The Greatest Adult Movies of All Time.  This takes a look at... someone's idea of the best pornos, with commentary from folks in the industry.

The format for X-Rated: The Greatest... is pretty simple.  The 32 movies that made this list are presented in chronological order, from the 1970s (Deep Throat being the earliest movie) to 2015, the year this documentary was made.  Every movie gets almost-always positive remarks from folks who are or were in porn, either stars or working behind the scenes; usually these people were involved in the movie being discussed.  There are clips from each featured movie.  Host and current porn star Scott Gianelli Chanel Preston also gives a quick overview of the changes to the adult film industry each decade.

X-Rated: The Greatest... is mixed in terms of quality.  Having over 30 movies gives the viewer a very good idea of the often substantial difference in adult films from decade to decade: Movies from the 1970s often had very edgy, non-erotic elements (rape, incest, suicide, perms), while contemporary movies often had much higher budgets and production time, allowing for some movies that, with sex removed, could be released as mainstream movies (which actually happened with Pirates).  And the folks commenting on the movies show a great enthusiasm for the movies, whether theirs or not.

There is a lot that could be improved in this documentary, though.  First, we never learn what makes these movies "the greatest" -- Box-office earnings?  Erotic content?  Story?  Awards?  Video sales?  Influence?  -- or who selected these particular movies.  The commentators are sometimes too positive, skipping the controversies surrounding some of these movies and the actors in them.  While lists of the greatest are always subjective, there are plenty of movies that should have been here as well.  And some of the biggest actresses in the adult film world are not included here: Vanessa del Rio, Ginger Lynn, Stephanie Swift, Serenity, Asia Carrera (except for a brief appearance in a clip from Flashpoint), Sasha Grey, Stormy Daniels.  (Somewhat ironically, this genre features female actors over male ones, but almost all the, ahem, biggest male stars are here.)

X-Rated: The Greatest Adult Movies of All Time is mixed when it comes to quality.  This was an interesting list through the history of pornos, and it was nice to hear the folks in this industry discussing the "greatest" films.  But the movie is vague as to how these movies made the list, and it can be a bit too uncritical at times.  It's worth watching -- but hardly a must-see documentary.

Overall grade: B-
Reviewed by James Lynch

OBJECTS OF DESIRE by Rita Catinella Orrell and Jason Scuderi

Sometimes two things are combined that had never been put together before but seem like a perfect match in retrospect.  The latest example of this: sex toys and the coffee table book.  Objects of Desire: A Showcase of Modern Erotic Products and the Creative Minds Behind Them, written by Rita Catinella Orrell and designed by Jason Scuderi, provides a visual and written journey through the current world of a very wide range of sexual items.

The subjects of Objects of Desire are beautifully photographed: often on a solid background, sometimes partially or fully submerged for waterproof goods, infrequently worn by a model.  These objects are usually showcased over two or four pages and include the date they were made/released, what they're made of, the manufacture's website, and several paragraphs describing their origin, use, and appeal.  Categories for the book's subjects include Remote- and App-Controlled Toys, Kegel Exercises, Vibrators, Fashion and Jewelry, Cock Rings & Anal Toys, Male Strokers, Dildos and Harnesses, Light BDSM, and In a Category of Their Own.

The items featured in Objects of Desire are impressively varied.  For every item whose sexual purpose is glaringly obvious, there's another that can be "hidden in plain sight" as artwork or jewelry.   There are things made of hand-carved wood and technical marvels that include wireless connectivity, data storage, and even artificial intelligence.  While this book isn't a historical trip or comprehensive guide to this ever-growing area, it certainly showcases the beauty, functionality, and artistry of these devices.

But there's more than just item descriptions.  Scattered through Objects of Desire are interviews with sex toy designers, company business owners, artists, and several sex bloggers (which is my new dream job).  These folks talk about their favorite and least favorite items (toxic materials and crude designs are almost universally hated), customer/reader inquiries, sources of inspirations, trends, and more.  There are also a "foreplay" (forewords), preface,and introduction -- plus where to get (most of) the objects in the book, along with other resources for learning more about this area.

Sex toys have evolved from crude novelty gifts and basic devices.  Objects of Desire highlights the results of this evolution, and the material here -- whether terrific photography or informative descriptions and discussions -- makes for a wonderful treat.

Overall grade: A+
Reviewed by James Lynch

AS KINKY AS YOU WANNA BE by Shanna Germain (and others)

Being kinky can be fun -- but what about the first steps towards entering that world?  How to bring it up with a partner?  What should someone know about safety?  What's out there in the culture?  As Kinky as You Wanna Be: Your Guide to Safe, Sane and Smart BDSM by Shanna Germain is a good introduction to the diverse world of kink, BDSM -- and, to a certain extent, well being in general.

As Kinky as You Wanna Be has a different format that most books on sex.  Shanna's discussions on different topics are intelligent, informative, often personal and sometimes humorous.  Interspersed with the chapters are interviews with assorted extras, plus short stories and excerpts from erotica authors including Janice Ashbless, Kristina Lloyd, Remittance Girl, and Shanna Germain herself.  The mix keeps things interesting, as we get different perspectives on the same topics, along with some pretty entertaining fiction that illustrates the discussions in quite exciting ways.  (The book also ends with a glossary of common vocabulary in the kink world, along with resources such as books and websites.)

My only issue with As Kinky as You Wanna Be is that it is, first and foremost, a primer for those new to this world.  The introduction says "Whether it's your first time or thousandth adventure: welcome" before ending with "All you have to do is take that first step."  The latter sentiment is more in tune with the rest of the book: Those experienced in kink will find little new here, from communication (more about overcoming initial awkwardness than expanding one's repertoire) to the glossary.  (I knew virtually all the terms there.)  If you know the scene(s), this is not the book for you.  That said, if you want to discover what you (and others) enjoy, or you'd like to share your interests with someone inexperienced, As Kinky as You Wanna Be is a fine doorway to this side of sex and sexuality.

Overall grade: B+
Reviewed by James Lynch

Mary Roach, BONK

Science and sexuality have an uneasy history together, with taboos and repression often interfering with research and understanding.  But that has changed (largely) in modern times, and a wide variety of methods are used in the scientific community to figure out some of the science behind sex.  Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex by Mary Roach explores several of these avenues of exploration; and it does so with intelligence, understanding, and a profound sense of humor.

Bonk is, in a sense, all over the map of how sexuality is explored by scientists today.  There are explanations and discussions of anatomy (including genitals, various treatments for impotence, and how to measure stimulation), mechanical, er, assistants (from whether vibrators increase overall sensitivity to coital imaging) to mysteries and debates (the impact hormones and pheromones have on humans, how people with spinal damage and no sensation below their waist can still experience orgasms).  Roach travels around the globe (Canada, Egypt, Taiwan) and goes back in time -- research-wise -- to find out what has been done and what is being done.

Bonk could have been dry stuff -- some authors can even make sex boring -- if it wasn't for Roach's sense of humor as well as her intelligence.  Roach keeps an open mind, but that doesn't stop her from sometimes being incredulous about what she learns or encounters, or making wry or goofy comments on the material: "Shafik won my heart by publishing a paper in European Urology in which he investigated the effects of polyester pants on sexual activity.  Ahmed Shafik dressed lab rats in polyester pants."

While Bonk takes an open and frank approach to the subject matter, there are plenty examples here of repression and fears that stifled this sort of research (and still can today: Several scientists mention the difficulty of being taken seriously or getting approval for their work, while the aforementioned Shafik, who works and lives in Egypt, fears the impact of the repressive Muslim Brotherhood).  But Roach demonstrates that the scientific exploration of sexuality can be serious and playful at the same time -- and, in the end, very illuminating.  Bonk is that rare creature: an informative scientific work that's also witty and entertaining.

Overall grade: A
Reviewed by James Lynch

SEX CRIMINALS vol.1 ONE WEIRD TRICK

It's a real thrill to find a comic book that's funny, dramatic, real, fantasy-filled, and thoroughly original.  It's also about sex.  Sex Criminals vol. 1: One Weird Trick collects the first five issues of this terrific series.  And like Y: The Last Man, it's a premise that sounds like a porno but is actually very adult -- er, mature -- er, well done.

Written by Matt Fraction and illustrated by Chip Zdarsky, Sex Criminals opens in the middle of Suzie and Jon in trouble in a bank.  Suzie then narrates their story in a series of flashbacks.  Suzie had a rough childhood: Her father was killed at a bank, her mother was distant from her, and she was ostracized at school.  When she has her first sexual experience (alone, in a bathtub), time seems to stop and the world seems to be full of psychedelic lights.  And in her case it's literally true: For a while after she climaxes, time freezes for everyone around her, everything goes quiet, and she can interact with the frozen people and things around her.

Suzie tries to learn about this, but she hits a virtual brick wall of lack of information.  The "bad" girls at school tell her a variety of bizarre and humorous sexual positions, her doctor is no help, and her mother calls her a whore.  She winds up at a library, which inspires her to become a librarian.  Unfortonately, her library is about to be foreclosed on by the bank.

 At a library fundraiser, Suzie meets Jon.  He's funny, intelligent (quoting Lolita when they meet), handsome, and he wants to be an actor but is a secretary.  And when they wind up in bed, afterwards they're both amazed that the other isn't frozen in time:

 It turns out that Jon has the same power as Suzie.  His backstory is similar to Suzie's, but with several differences that highlight the differences between men and women.  While Suzie tried to figure out what was going on, Jon used his ability to pillage his local porn store.  ("I literally must have stolen hundreds of thousands of dollars of porn from this place over the years."  "Boy.  That's gotta be like... seventeen pornos at these prices.")  While Suzie calls the frozen-time experience "the Quiet," he calls it "Cumworld," after the name of the aforementioned porn store.  But despite their differences, Suzie and Jon are thrilled with each other and to have found someone like themselves.

 Jon also has a plan to save the library: They use their power to enter the Quiet/Cumworld, rob some banks, and donate the money anonymously to the library.  Suzie isn't sure about this, while Jon seems a little too eager: "It's less than one thousandth of a percent of their annual budget on fucking lobby pens, Suze."  This leads to helping the library, but also to Suzie learning some unpleasant things about Jon as well.

Oh, there's also a trio of people in white who call themselves the Sex Police who seen determined to stop Suzie and Jon.

There is so very much I like about Sex Criminals.  While the idea of an orgasm-fueled superpower may seem crazy (even for comic books), it's treated initially as a typical adolescent discovery and exploration of sexuality, whether not finding information or overindulging in the discovery.  There's plenty of humor here, from the numerous details of Jon's porno store ("OBAMACORE: Medical/socialist themed," "MEN FUCKING LESBIANS: Everyone's Having a Horrible Time!") to a musical number where the comic book folks couldn't get the rights to print the song lyrics.  The relationship between Suzie and Jon also rings very true, from the initial infatuation and euphoria to the concerns when learning more about each other may be worrisome and troubling.  And the big bank robbery leads to more action and complications -- plus a cliffhanger that has me eagerly waiting for the second volume.  Sex Criminals is certainly for adults only, and it shows just how much comic books can offer adults. (The trade paperback has quite a few extras: a photoshopped ad, the alternate covers, and their full list of "ultimate sex moves" that did and didn't make it into the comic.)

Overall grade: A+
Reviewed by James Lynch

Asa Akira, INSATIABLE

Many books about pornography tend to be either cautionary tales about how the industry destroys people, or shameless self-promotion.  The title Insatiable: Porn -- A Love Story should tell you which direction Asa Akira's biography leans, but this atypical book manages to be a honest, unapologetic look at one star's life, highs and lows together.

Insatiable isn't organized chronologically (except for one chapter that's Asa's journal entries for a year) or by subject.  Instead, the book bounces around like Asa's randomly remembering things and chatting about them.  There's plenty of discussion of sex -- from what she enjoys personally and professionally, common tricks and signifiers of the adult industry (baby wipes are a giveaway), and her brief jobs as a hooker and dominatrix -- but there's also what she does outside the bedroom or studio.  The chapter "Craigslist" is more about the death of an ex-boyfriend than answering an ad of Craigslist, "Food Porn" is actually about breaking a diet with pizza, and high school stories involve drugs and shoplifting.  And the sexual and non-sexual sides come together often, such as when Asa learns an ex-boyfriend is shooting gay porn in the studio next to hers, or her letter to a future child that is both empowering and graphically describes the threesome where she met her child's father. And there are haikus too!

Insatiable: Porn -- A Love Story is a different sort of read.  Asa is likable -- often funny, usually explicit, and sometimes sad -- and passionate about her life and career.  The book's lack of organization does prevent it from building momentum or direction, but the stories are interesting and show a life that's far from perfect but perfect for her.  Asa Akira provides readers with a blunt, positive look at the life of a woman in the adult entertainment industry, and Insatiable is worth checking out.

Overall grade: A-
Reviewed by James Lynch

PORN AND PONG by Damon Brown

One of  history's dirty little secrets is that most advances in technology have wound up being used for pornography/erotica -- so it's no surprise that sex has made its way into video games.  But did the sex in society affect the games, or did the sex in games affect society?  This is discussed in Damon Brown's book Porn & Pong: How Grand Theft Auto, Tomb Raider and Other Sexy Games Changed Our Culture.

This book is divided into three sections: "The Porn Era (1972-1995)," "The Lara Croft Era (1996-2001)," and "The Grand Theft Auto Era (2001-2008)."  Brown talks about not just the overtly sexual games -- the ones in the title; the infamous and crude Custer's Revenge; and the Leisure Suit Larry series -- but also what else was happening in the world and technology.  For example, one section begins with a detailed description of the interactive experience NASA provided of images from Mars -- and how they were overshadowed by the online Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee sex tape.  "Porn pundits argue that it was downloaded or bought online several times over any Mars-related paraphenalia," observes Brown wryly.  "In retrospect, it seems that Pamela Anderson Lee was the real uncharted world."

Porn & Pong isn't a consistent look at the intersection of video games and sex.  The book provides some good details and observations of the mix of the two, from the iconic Lara Croft's idealized/excessive measurements (38-24-34) to the fact that Custer's Revenge "sold eighty thousand copies at fifty bucks a pop" to the MMORPG gay pride parade held in World of Warcraft.  However, the book doesn't make a case for these games affecting culture as for their being affected by it, namely through the numerous controversies and attempts to ban them.  Porn & Pong notes that Playboy had its first video game centerfolds in 2004 -- but that it happened after the magazine was losing readers to Maxim.  This book isn't helped either by numerous typos (plus the phrase "a porn," as ridiculous sounding here as when used on Family Guy) and excessive spacing between paragraphs, giving the impression this book needed to be padded out.

The most insightful part of Porn & Pong is in Jon M. Gibson's introduction, where he argues that video games are still stuck in the juvenile, t&a-focused stage of dealing with sexuality.  Brown's book tends to support this view of sex in video games without commenting too much on it.  In the conclusion, Brown says, "...video games and their virtual worlds have rapidly changed our perception of entertainment, of interaction and of human relationships."  While this may be the case, Porn & Pong suggests that when it comes to sex, video games follow societal trends instead of creating them.

Overall grade: C+
Reviewed by James Lynch

THE SECRET LIVES OF ADULT STARS dvd

So, what's it like making a living in the world of porn?  What cliches are ridiculous, and which common beliefs are true?  These are some of the "secrets" covered in The Secret Lives of Adult Stars, a 2004 documentary consisting of interviews with the people who make their living making adult entertainment.

This documentary takes a simple approach: Get some adult film professionals (mainly actors and directors) and let them chat about different topics.  The folks discuss everything from how they got started in the industry, to fans, to the challenges of maintaining relationships with people who aren't part of the industry.  They discuss the need to "approach women as a consumer," the rise of the internet and technology (the shots of vhs boxes suggest this was made right before the advent of the dvd), and how little male performers make compared with women.

Folks looking for deep, dark secrets won't find them here.  There are no outsiders giving different perspectives on the pros and cons of filming and selling sex, just industry professionals discussing mostly how much they enjoy working in the industry.  (All may not be perfect, as the stars who become more popular can work less.  Asia Carrera comments that she made "seventy movies in my first six months.")  There's no discussion of feminism, politics, or controversy.

What The Secret Lives of Adult Stars delivers is most of the big names of the adult industry, such as Brittany Andrews, Julie Meadows, Anna Malle, Nina Hartley, Julia Ann, Asia Carrera, Michael Raven, Steven St. Croix, and more.  (Notably absent is megastar Jenna Jameson.)  This documentary shows that the people in the adult entertainment industry are regular people, not sexaholics or damaged goods.  Beyond that, though The Secret Lives of Adult Stars isn't particularly illuminating on this fascinating genre.

Overall grade: C+
Reviewed by James Lynch

THE ULTIMATE GUIDE TO KINK by Tristan Taormino, et al

If you want to learn about a subject, talk with some experts on that subject. This simple principle is the guiding force behind The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play and the Erotic Edge, edited by Tristan Taormino. She has collected essays by some of the "superstars" of the kinky community to write an essay or two on different aspects of the alternative sexual lifestyles. The results are, for the most part, terrific.

The Ultimate Guide to Kink is divided into two parts. The first half, "Skills and Techniques," provides information on the "mechanics" of kinky sex (as well as an overview of the terminology from Taormino herself), from training a slave to bondage, piercings, and er, things that can be done with a fist. Following that is "Fantasies and Philosophies," which encompasses everything from the basics of role play to the mindset of a sadist and masochist (different essays) to different genres of role play and the darker realms of the imagination.

The twenty essays from various writers give not just a variety of not just sexual arenas, but writing styles and attitudes as well. Many of the writers are as adamant about the necessary precautions as the erotic potentials ("Don't kill 'em, don't harm 'em, don't bore 'em") and most urge testing the waters carefully instead of diving right in. Some writers use humor (from "Homer Simpson rewards" to "Lord Eduardo, King of the Goats") while others get very personal; the last three essays delve into very dangerous territories, and Edge clarifies, "Finally, I'm going to sound like a psycho killer at times. I am not. Promise."

The Ultimate Guide to Kink works as much as a philosophical basis for kink as for a discussion of how to expand one's sexual experience into different areas. The writing is quite good for the most part, and even discussions of activities that don't interest a reader might still provide insights and possibilities for the reader in other areas. This book does explore some pretty hardcore areas, both physically and mentally, and it's certainly not for the faint of heart. (One description made me queasy.) With that in mind, it's easy to see why these authors are the superstars of their kinks, and Tristan Taormino did a great job gathering and editing their thoughts to create The Ultimate Guide to Kink.

Overall grade: A
Reviewed by James Lynch

FIFTY SHADES OF GREY by E L James

No book has enjoyed as much popularity or stirred such controversy in the past few years as Fifty Shades of Grey by E L James. Beginning as online Twilight fanfiction, Fifty Shades of Grey (first in a trilogy; it continues in Fifty Shades Darker and concludes with Fifty Shades Freed) is essentially a kinky take on the traditional romance novel.

Anastasia "Ana" Steele is a college student on the verge of graduation. When her roommate Kate Kavanagh is sick, Ana helps her out by interviewing entrepreneur Christian Grey. Christian is rich, handsome, powerful, self-assured, and leaves Ana completely flustered. Apparently she has a similar effect on him, as he begins courting her, from giving her lavish gifts (she mentions she's into literature; he sends her a first-edition Tess of the D'Urbervilles, worth about $14,000) to flying her to exotic restaurants to exchanging emails (on the state-of-the-art, not-yet-released laptop he gives her, of course).

The Return of the Pro with the Heart of Gold

Perhaps it's a sign of the economic times, or the return of the same fantasy for men and women (for different reasons), but the Lifetime Channel's expanding their movie The Client List into an ongoing series in April is the latest foray of the prostitute with the heart of gold. It's also the latest example of the glamourization of selling sex.

In the original The Client List, Samantha Horton (Jennifer Love Hewitt) is a loving wife and mother. But when she loses her job and her husband gets injured and can't work, it's up to her to prevent foreclosure on their house -- by working at the Kind Touch Health Spa, where the clients expect a lot more than just a massage. (This movie is not loved by licensed massage therapists hoping to shake the reputation that "massage therapy" is a euphemism for prostitution.) The series will continue Samantha's storyline, where the biggest threats aren't STDs, adultery, or sex with strangers, but rather an economy where her family might lose its home, law officials who could arrest her (and cost her her source of income), and the intersection between her life as a wife and mother -- and her life as someone with a client list.

This type of character is hardly new. The film Belle de Jour (1967) featured Catherine Deneuve as a housewife who became a daytime prostitute out of boredom. Julia Roberts really became famous with 1990's Pretty Woman, in which we're led to believe rich, handsome men who pick up call girls on the street give them unlimited shopping and emotional attachments. And Billie Piper followed her beloved role of Rose on Doctor Who with Secret Diary of a Call Girl, in which Belle is a smart, attractive, fully likeable woman balancing her life as a prostitute with her "normal" life and friends.

Without pre-judging the series The Client List, it does seem to be idealizing trading sex for money. In the current issue of Maxim, Jennifer Love Hewitt comments, ""We have a lot of really fun things in the series eye-candy wise for our audience... It's a lingerie-heavy show every episode, for my character in particular. It's not going to be your mother's Lifetime." This may be a step up from the old "woman in danger, and a system that only helps men" formula, it also seems to be sanitizing the world's oldest profession (besides farming).

While I don't have a problem with prostitution per se (as George Carlin beautifully put it, "Selling is legal, fucking is legal, how is selling fucking illegal? Why is it illegal to sell something it's perfectly legal to give away for free?"), it seems like a lot of these shows portray the encounters as with great-looking, basically nice guys instead of potentially dangerous or pretty creepy individuals. (On Secret Diary of a Call Girl Belle did have a system where the she could let her pimp know if a client was trouble at the start -- but how many pimps are really less concerned with money than with keeping their prostitutes in good shape?) And since some of these have the prostitute as a married woman, that adds in the adultery aspect as well: Is providing for the family worth cheating on the husband?

(Incidentally, some shows have madams/female pimps (like Lady Heather, to the left, from C.S.I.) that are always well educated, polite, sophisticated, and concerned first and foremost with the treatment of their women. I suspect that's idealized as well, as I'm not sure sisterhood trumps profit.)

Perhaps the return of this trend is a reflection of the economy, as women who can't find jobs can still provide for their family by selling themselves. (On Secret Diary of a Call Girl Belle didn't have a family; but that show was paired on Showtime with Weeds, about a mother turning to crime (selling pot) to support her family.) Perhaps it's a re-affirmation of the woman who's damn sexy, not just a wife and mother. And perhaps men are happily tuning in just for the "damn sexy" part of the shows -- or the famtasy that the beautiful woman isn't just after their money.

With the current concerns about the economy and controversy over contraception, turning The Client List may be a reflection of concerns -- or sensationalizing the selling of sex. It should prove interesting to see what directions the series takes.

Written by James Lynch

THE ART OF THE KAMA SUTRA

While The Kama Sutra has the reputation of being a manual of sex positions, it's quite more. This ancient tome, arguably one of the oldest guides to dating and love between men and women, is as concerned with relationships as with physical mixing and matching. The Art of the Kama Sutra by Mallanaga Vatsyayana: The New Illustrated Edition of the Classic Indian Guide to Sexual Pleasure is an interesting historical document that still has plenty of relevance today.

The Art of the Kama Sutra is not a visually explicit book. (There are plenty of other "Kama Sutra" versions out there that are little more than collections of positions.) The illustrations here are pieces of ancient Indian art, color photographs of nature and statues, and black-and-white photos of people embracing. The Art of the Kama Sutra begins with a discussion of Dharma (the spiritual), Artha (the worldly/material), and Kama (pleasure), and how all three must be in balance for a harmonious life.

Sexuality is soon covered, often in a scientific way. There are discussions of pairings, based on the sizes (hare, bull, and horse) of the man's lingam and the sizes (deer, mule, and elephant) of the woman's yoni. While there are some positions covered, there are also types of activity (who is more dominant, types of biting and scratching), how each sex should attract the other (men are more aggressive, women play hard to get), the sixty-four arts to be studied, how to get a wife, how to have affairs, how a wife should behave, how she should get on with other wives of her husband, aphrodisiacs and sexual devices, and how courtesans should act to benefit themselves in both love and wealth.

The Art of the Kama Sutra demonstrates that, while some information certainly belongs more in ancient times than today (anyone want to learn fixing stained glass in a floor, or sharing betel leaves to attract a woman?), some truths are universal. Many (most?) of our readers are not in polygamous situations, but the information on courting, the importance (for better and worse) of passion, and how relationships involve a certain degree of planning and subtlety are true today as when this tome was written. The entries are in sutras of a few sentences, and at times the phrasing feels a little stiff: "...as variety is necessary in love, so love is to be produced by means of variety. It is on this account that courtesans, who are well acquainted with various ways and means, become so desirable, for if variety is sought in all the arts and amusements, such as archery and others, how much more should it be sought after in the science of love."

The end of The Art of the Kama Sutra advices, "This work is not intended to be used merely as an instrument for satisfying ou desires," and this translation provides far more than carnal instruction. This book sometimes has parts that doesn't work today, but more often it offers information for men and women that is as relevant today as when it was written.

Overall grade: B
Reviewed by James Lynch

John Nornan, DANCER OF GOR

John Norman has written over 20 books in the Gor series, creating the alien world of Gor where humans are brought to live adventures that combine sword and sorcery wth periods from ancient human history. Well, that's what happens to men: Dancer of Gor shows Norman fantasizing about the absolute captivity, submission, and degredation of women -- and contempt for women who resist this.

The protagonist of this book is Doreen Williamson, an introverted, shy librarian who finds release in the "shocking" practice of bellydance. This somehow brings her to the attention of Gorean slavers (led by Teibar), and before you can say "BDSM" Doreen has been fully bound, kidnapped, transported to Gor, and sold into slavery.

What follows is a series of not so much adventures as Norman's fantasies about sumbission. It's hard to know which the author enjoys more: his long and detailed descriptions of physical bondage, or his creating a society where women have literally fewer rights than animals, any woman can be captured and enslaved, and men can rename, use, abuse, rape, and even kill women at their whim. Doreen starts as a dancing prostitute and winds up in subsequently worse situations -- and loves every minute of it.

The problem with Dancer of Gor isn't having a submissive protagonist: This has been done well plenty of times, from The Story of O (in its numerous adaptions) to the movie Secretary. First, Norman not only revels in this world where women exist solely to please men, but also condems the "modern woman" who he sees as weakening and destroying men. He doesn't just like a submissive woman -- he shows a hatred for any woman who shows signs of independence or intelligence. Further, Doreen (or whatever her name is -- it's changed several times during the novel) is treated with contempt by all males throughout the book, existing as little more than a male sexual fantasy.

Oh yes, and the writing is terrible. To celebrate the 40th anniversary of the Gor series, this book "has been specifically edited by the author and is a definitive text." Someone should have spoken to Norman about avoiding run-on sentences and the overuse of commas, as demonstrated here: "If they could have seen me curling about a man's feet in an alcove, licking and kissing theinching upwards, piteously, hopefully, then kneeling beside him, looking up, kissing, licking, pleading, I do not think they would have been so quickto dismiss me as a mere 'pot girl.' Tela, too, I am sure, was angry. After all, not only had she once been a rich free woman, of high family and significant station, of a fine city, Lydius, but even after her capture,and her prompt reduction to total and absolute bondage, she had been found so beautiful, so luscious and desirable, that she had been chosen over many women for the triangle of red silk in the tent of Aulus." Of course, when Dancer of Gor isn't wordy it's usually short, stupid exclamations of the women begging and the men insulting them. So it's pretty much a no-win situation.

I haven't read any of the other Gor books -- and after this I have no desire to -- so I can't speak to the treatment of women in those. I can say that Dancer of Gor demonstrates some of the worst stereotypes about the BDSM world: that it's insulting, degrading, and terrible to women. Furthermore, Norman is a terrible writer, from the absolutely one-dimensional characters to the consistently awful sentences. Avoid this book like a Gorean slaver.

Overall grade: F
Reviewed by James Lynch

XXX 30 PORN-STAR PORTRAITS

So, how big a difference does clothing make? The photographs of Timothy Greenfield-Sanders take on this question in a new way in the book XXX 30 Porn-Star Portraits. However, this isn't just dirty pictures -- or even just pictures: The portraits continue with biographies and essays.

The photographic subjects -- 19 women, 11 men -- of this book represent a wide spectrum of adult film professionals. There are the stars from the past (Ron Jeremy, Ginger Lynn, Peter North, Nina Hartley), huge stars of the present (Jenna Jameson (also on the cover), Belladonna, Tera Patrick), and up-and-coming folks in adult films (Reina Leone, Mari Possa, Jesse Jane). Greenfield-Sanders has two photos of each star next to each other: one with the star dressed normally, and next to it the star in the same pose, but completely naked. While the effect may be initially titillating (except for Ron Jeremy -- sorry, Ron), the contrast also makes the viewer aware of how such a "little" thing as clothing can make quite a difference in how a person comes across.

Of course, photos of these people alone would be quite superficial -- so there are life stories as well! At the end of XXX 30 Porn-Star Portraits the stars write an account of their life stories (except for a few entries that are provided by Vivid Entertainment), and their ten (or fewer for new stars) favorite movies in which they appear. These entries are quite illuminating: Some stars have very positive experiences working in porn, some wound up there after a horrible childhood, and Sharon Mitchell's story is quite harrowing and uplifting, as she recounts how she went from rock bottom to creating an organization that checks adult film workers for HIV and other STDs.

And if you want to say you're reading XXX 30 Porn-Star Portraits for the articles, you're more than covered. This book has essays by Gore Vidal, Salman Rushdie, actor John Malkovich, performance artist Karen Finley; there are also two-way interviews between Nancy Friday and Nina Hartley, and directors John Waters and Chi Chi LaRue. These articles are usually insightful and always interesting, covering everything from the influence of the Marquis de Sade to alien abduction sex fantasies to first experiences. (The only disappointment was Lou Reed's entry, which was a string of x-rated spam emails.)

A few things have changed since XXX 30 Porn-Star Portraits came out (Jenna Jameson retired acrimonously from the industry, while Jesse Jane may be its biggest star now), but this book will remain as a fascinating look at the stars with and without their clothes (as Morrissey sang, such a little thing makes a big difference), as well as their lives and the industry they work in. This is a terrific book that explores not just porn stars, but human sexuality and our perceptions. And you can say you're reading it for the articles...

Overall grade: A
Reviewed by James Lynch

ALISON'S WONDERLAND edited by Alison Tyler

Fairy tales often have a sexual undercurrent, from the menacing allure of otherworldly beings to the handsome prince bringing the fair maiden to the dream wedding and then, er, happily ever after. Alison's Wonderland is a short story collection, edited by Alison Tyler, where these erotic subtexts become very clear.

The stories in Alison's Wonderland can be divided, more or less, into three categories: contemporary takes on the classics, new versions of the stories set in their original times, and new stories with mythical creatures. The three billy goats gruff become rugged handymen in "The Three Billys," helping the prim librarian Ms. Troll. The big bad wolf turns up as a burly truck driver in "Wolff's Tavern." The little old woman who lived in a shoe is transformed into "The Cougar of Cottage Hill." A granted wish has unexpected consequences in "The Midas F*ck." We even find that the happy ending is far from perfect in "After the Happily Ever After." Several other stories move the events of the past to the present, in characters or situations.

Next are the fairy tales in the "good old days." There are fewer of these -- most authors presumably liked modernizing the stories rather than staying too close to the originals -- but their presence here makes sense, as what was once suggested becomes explicit. You also won't be able to see or read Snow White again after reading "Gold, on Snow."

Finally there are the truly new tales with familiar figures. An artist is obsessed with his elven creation in "Unveiling His Muse." Online dirty talk leads to a real-world supernatural encounter in "Cupid Has Signed Off." A few authors have fun with the romance of Ireland. There's even a D&D game unlike anything I've ever come close to in "Mastering Their Dungeons."

Alison's Wonderland works decently -- ironic, given that the sex is often kinky and usually graphic. Some of the stories are quite creative, while at other times simply moving names from the fairy tales to the present was a little simplistic. There's a nice variety of tones in the stories -- true love, true lust, nostalgia, happily ever after, even revenge -- and I recognized a few authors from the Black Lace series of books. Alison's Wonderland doesn't revolutionize the world of erotica -- or fairy tales, for that matter -- but it is a fun, hot, quick read.

Overall grade: B
Reviewed by James Lynch

EMBRACE OF THE VAMPIRE dvd

I've always found it interesting and hypocritical that Blockbuster Video, as a "family movie store," won't carry porn but will carry R-rated movies that exist solely to show off scantily-clad women and barely bother with anything else, like plot or acting. If you took such a movie, tossed in some well-known actors (including an Academy Award winner), and made it supposedly about vampires but really about sex, you'd have Embrace of the Vampire. This 1995 movie does go a bit further with skin on the unrated edition but maintains all the flaws of this exploitative genre.

Embrace of the Vampire begins in medieval times. A man (played by Martin Kemp, former bass player for Spandau Ballet; really) has a romantic relationship with a chaste princess (Rebecca Ferratti, who has no lines and slightly more screen time), but he is attacked by three barely-dressed nymphs and becomes a vampire. (Since the movie never bothers to give him a name, let's just call him Vampire.) Jump to the present, and Vampire is, for some reason, three days away from death. But there's hope!

College freshman Charlotte (Alyssa Milano) is Vampire's soulmate, apparently because she sort of resembles his long-lost ex. Charlotte is a virgin (she was raised by -- I kid you not -- nuns) whose continuing chastity is frustrating to her boyfriend Chris (Harold Pruett). Charlotte wears white clothes, always has a crucifix on, and could only come across as more sweet and innocent if she were played by a stuffed animal. And she turns eighteen in -- you guessed it -- three days.

For some reason, Vampire won't die if Charlotte falls in love with him and gives herself to him. But he can't just grab and convert her (why not is never explained), nor can he kill off Chris (though he has no problem dispatching plenty of other teens in the movie). Instead, Vampire keeps sending her erotic visions or whispered dialogue on the futility of love, replacing her crucifix with an Egyptian ankh (which, we're told, has "sexual powers"), and sending sexy vampire Marika (Jennifer Tilly, the aforementioned Academy Award winner; but certainly not for this) to seduce Chris.

Of course, in this sort of movie sexual temptations are everywhere. There's Charlotte's friend Nicole (Rachel True), who urges Charlotte to play the field. There's bitchy popular girl Eliza (Jordan Ladd), who spikes Charlotte's drink at a party. There's sexy foreign student Sarah (Charlotte Lewis) who tries for a lesbian seduction via photography. Heck, even Charlotte's art history class is all about sex. What's a virgin to do?

The Embrace of the Vampire dvd has both R-rated and unrated versions, and if you're watching this movie you've got to watch latter version. As opposed to the Blockbuster-style exploitation film, this has Milano topless quite frequently, very close to naked sometimes, and even briefly in a foursome. (It wasn't easy finding movie stills I could use in this review.) It's safe to say that showing off her body is the reason Embrace of the Vampire exists.

Unfortunately, most of the movie doesn't involve nudity -- and those are the times Embrace of the Vampire falls apart. The characters are all paper-thin and forgettable, there's no subtlety (from the ankh glowing to Charlotte becoming a "bad girl" by switching to a red dress and black lipstick), and the plot really makes no sense. (Vampire survived for hundreds of years, but he somehow knows he'll die on Charlotte's eighteenth birthday? Vampire can kill everyone but his biggest obstacle?) Many works have explored the links between vampires and sexuality -- from the original Dracula to many works of Anne Rice to (shudder) the Twilight saga -- but Embrace of the Vampire contents itself with lots of nudity and vampires snarling a lot. This movie works if you want a skinflick that you can pretend is a horror movie, but it fails as anything else.

Overall grade: D-
(but A- for prurient reasons)

Reviewed by James Lynch

PORN PARODIES: THE BIG TREND

Copyright law ain't what it used to be. There was a time when using a character that looked too close to a licensed character or from a licensed show or movie resulted in swift litigation that meant either big changes to the work or ending its chance of being released. Somehow, the use of parody (along with the phrases "This Ain't..." and "Not the...") managed to overcome that, resulting in an incredibly large number of parodies that are amazingly close to their original sources, from character names to camera angles. This has proved a massive boon for an industry in need of a new success: theoretical physics! Wait, did I say theoretical physics? I meant porn.



There have always been scattered parodies in the world of adult entertainment, but the current floodgates opened in 2007. Writer-director Will Ryder decided it would be fun to do an adult version of The Brady Bunch. But he didn't just get some actors who sort of looked like the original cast and had them get naked. He watched the original show, he duplicated as much as he could (from plot to camera angles), and he made a parody that was impressively close to the original. And Not the Bradys XXX was a huge hit, both critically and commercially.


So how many parodies have been released so far? Well, I did some truly fun research and found quite a few titles. If you like your porn mixed with horror, there are adult versions of Friday the 13th, Psycho, Saw, and The Human Centipede. Mainstream movies given the XXX treatment include Avatar, the Twilight series, and Bonnie and Clyde. If you like superheroes that way (like me!), there are two versions of Batman (the '60s TV show and The Dark Knight), Superman (combining the first two Christopher Reeve movies), and Wonder Woman (for which they dropped the ball plotwise: She's been around for over 60 years and the best they could come up with is having her battle Iraqi spies out to steal America's porn secrets?).
What about television shows gone porn? Current or recent shows that are currently porn parodies include Glee, Scrubs, Sex and the City, Reno! 911, 30 Rock, Two and a Half Men, The Big Bang Theory, Charmed, and The Office. Reality shows aren't immune to the trend, with skin-filled versions of Ghost Hunters, Cops, Hell's Kitchen, Dr. Phil, and Dancing with the Stars.

But, as this trend began with a "classic" television show, it's fitting that most of these parodies are of that genre. Here's a far-from complete list of older television that's been porn-parodied: The A-Team. Cheers. The Dukes of Hazzard. The Cosby Show. I Dream of Jeannie. Star Trek (original series, twice). Good Times. Roseanne. The Munsters. Home Improvement. Baywatch. The Bionic Woman. Who's the Boss. And The Flintstones.

Is this trend the result of the Internet's massive amount of adult-only fanfiction? Nostalgia mixed with lust? Or a cheap way to channel an existing fanbase? I couldn't say -- and I don't mind. This massive new genre of porn is as much a homage to the original material as a parody of it, and the result can be very entertaining beyond prurience. There seems to be no sign it's slowing down -- upcoming porn parodies include Top Gun, Risky Business, Harry Potter, The Simpsons, Spider-Man, and The Rocky Horror Picture Show -- and given the mainstream interest in remakes and superheroes, I doubt the adult world will lose interest anytime soon.

Written by James Lynch

P.S. The trailers below are from YouTube and have no sex or nudity. Sorry.