"You know, the special effects for this movie aren't bad considering it came out in 1992."
"Um, this movie was released 18 months ago."
"WHAAAAAATTTT???"
Welcome to Rifftrax Live: Star Raiders: The Adventures of Saber Raine. This is the sort of movie that's pretty much designed for much mockery from Mike Nelson, Bill Corbett, and Kevin Murphy: a former "star," amazingly bad special effects, and a nonsensical plot.
For thos who want a plot to try and follow, here goes: Following a less-than-epic space battle, an obligatory hot female (with glowing red eyes) and her two followers (each of whom is wearing what looks like half a pair of sunglasses) land on a planet to rescue a prince and princess from an evil would-be ruler whose henchmen are immortal (sometimes) and whose head looks skinned from the top half up. There's also a lizard-woman whose makeup doesn't cover her lower jaw. ("She has two mouths.") And then there's Saber Raine, the heroic rogue played by Casper Van Dien, whose only real claim to fame is having appeared in Starship Troopers.
Want more? There's an obligatory traitor, parts of the planet don't let technology work, as the plot dictates, a sword-fighting scene is completely gratuitous, and the dialogue fails as consistently as the special effects.
Fortunately, the worse the movie is, the more of a source for comedy it provides for Mike, Bill, and Kevin. They work hard mining humor from this awful movie (plus an old short about honesty and values that begins the evening) and the laughs come pretty consistently from start to finish. While one may wonder how this movie got made so recently or mourn the career of Casper Van Diem, you'll also be laughing a lot during Rifftrax Live: Star Raiders: The Adventures of Saber Rain. And if you figure out who or what the Star Raiders are, please let me know; the movie sure didn't.
Anyone who remembers the Syfy channel makeup competition show Face Off will know that there are important elements that go into making a memorable movie monster. The movie Octaman goes in the opposite direction, being cheap and nonsensical at almost every turn -- and that's before the oddly environmental messages, the terrible acting, and the attempt to cover it all up by almost shooting the movie in the dark. It's a terrible combination of elements -- but it supplies lots of comic material for Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy and Bill Corbett in Rifftrax Live: Octaman.
The evening's festivities begin with plenty of funny songs and fake movie facts. Next comes a short where McGruff the Crime Dog teaches little kids about drugs (where we learn "poison is dangerous").
Then it's time for Octaman! A bunch of scientists are exploring Mexico -- here a land of stock footage of animals -- and find the lakes are polluted with radiation and filled with small rubbery octopus-ish babies. This attracts the fury of... the Octaman!
Let's get the Octaman out of the way. Two arms work just fine, but the others just dangle there. "Fortunately" the creature attacks by flailing to the left and right until it hits something. Worse, the costume allows for no facial expressions: Its round mouth never moves, and it has no eyelids whatsoever. As for being scary, it's accurately described as "having the agility and speed of Bernie Sanders."
Add to this lame monster an uninteresting mix of supporting characters and you have a movie so bad, for a brief time one of the three comedians quits Rifftrax over what's happening on the screen -- and it's hard to blame him. But the comics all come together in the end -- and they have a pretty steady supply of jokes, culled from this sometimes-aquatic nightmare of a movie. There are plenty of reasons Octaman isn't known among horror movie fans -- but Rifftrax Live: Octaman gives it life among fans of comedy.
The movie Krull is a mix of science fiction and sword and sorcery from 1983 that never really took off. Looking back at it, there are plenty of reasons this was a commercial and critical flop. However, that makes it perfect for riffing on, and Rifftrax Live: Krull does just that.
With this slightly long movie to take on, hosts Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy and Bill Corbett skip their usual opening shorts or previews of upcoming shows to tackle the feature. It's probably a warning that when Mike asks the audience who's seen Krull and lots of people cheer, he follows it up by asking if they remember it through nostalgia.
The movie itself features slow-moving Slayers, a big rocky teleporting castle, painful comedy from an inept wizard ("If he's the comic relief, why do I feel tense every time he shows up?") and the Glaive, a magical spinning five-bladed weapon descriped as "like Excalibur but with a far stupider name." The movie's big claim to fame is having Liam Neeson and Robbie Coltrane in small roles as the bandits before they (the actors) became famous.
I liked seeing Rifftrax Live: Krull a lot. This is the first time I've seen the actual movie, and it was painful to endure. But the comedy trip had a lot of fun with it -- from wondering who or what "Krull" actually is to the casual forgetting of the movie's early slaughter of the main characters' family and friends -- that brought the audience along for the ride. More material would have been good, but Rifftrax Live: Krull was still very fun to watch.
One of the most beloved episodes of Mystery Science Theater 3000 was their making of the 1980s sci-fi disaster Space Mutiny. So it's no surprise that the movie got a redoing with Rifftrax Live: Space Mutiny. This comedy feature had all-new jokes, several scenes not shown in the MST3K episode, and lots and lots of humor.
Mike Nelson, Bill Corbett, and Kevin Murphy (the latter dressed as Alex Jansen) began by riffing "The Magic Shop," a short feature based on a story by H.G. Wells. Next came a preview of their next Rifftrax Live feature, Krull. And from there, it was on to Space Mutiny!
For better or worse, seeing extra scenes of Space Mutiny doesn't improve that movie in the slightest. However, that just gave the three hosts even more material to make fun of. There are lots of new nicknames for the muscular, dim hero Dave Ryder. (Max Roidrage! Bacon von Meatwich!) There's the heroine who seems as old as her father, the dead character who shows up alive back at her post, and the scenery-chewing villain Calgon. There also the "spaceship" full of brick walls and pipes, footage shamelessly taken from Battlestar Galactica, and lots of propane tanks lying around. None of it is spared by the comedy trio.
Rifftrax Live: Space Mutiny is a very funny take on a very bad "classic" movie. We get everything from jokes about the awful combat ("Why'd you have to kick and shoot me in the crotch?") to how Bill will cover up some nudity without a gorilla-gram. The humor is consistent from start to finish, and the new jokes made it fresh even for those of us very familiar with the original MST3K episode. This was a lot of fun!
It's always kind of weird when the folks at Rifftrax set their sights on a movie or TV show that I actually like. This was the case with the Rifftrax Live: Doctor Who -- The Five Doctors. Fortunately, the trio were able to get plenty of laughs from this special Doctor Who episode.
The evening began with Mike Nelson, Bill Corbett and Kevin Murphy taking on Play Safe, a British safety film where two animated birds talk safety while kids act amazingly stupid around power lines and power pylons. ("I feel a My Girl moment coming up.") From there, they moved on to The Five Doctors.
Much as I liked this "special" Doctor Who episode, there's plenty that doesn't hold up -- and the Rifftrax trio made fun of just about all of it. There's the first Doctor being replaced by a new actor, a character inexplicably falling down and being stuck at a small hill ("Take that, Mad Max: Fury Road! An old man just helped a woman up a slight incline!") or the elaborate and silly costumes. ("Time to get back to my Faberge egg cosplay.") The laughs were big and consistent, with humor coming throughout the evening.
If Rifftrax Live: Doctor Who -- The Five Doctors streams on the Rifftrax site or returns to the theaters, it's very worth checking out.
Ah, summertime. The season for beaches, barbecues, swimming, and... terrible short features? Rifftrax Live: Summer Shorts Beach Party continues the MST3K/Rifftrax tradition of joking during terrible movies -- only this time the subjects/victims are short features.
The Summer Shorts feature is hosted by Mike Nelson, Bill Corbett and Kevin Murphy. This time around, however, they're joined by MST3K alumns Trace Beaulieu, Frank Conniff, Mary Jo Pehl, and Bridget Nelson (Mike's wife), along with comedian Paul F. Tompkins. The guests riff on the shorts with or instead of the three regulars, and everyone joins together to take on the evening's final short feature.
As for the shorts, they prove as terrible -- and therefore ripe for being the subject of jokes -- as the feature films. There's a safety film involving a magic owl that looks like a furry with a beard. There's a sexist black and white feature on women in the office. There's the "exercise" of rhythmic ball movement. And it all wraps up with two burlap sacks coming to life and being chased by their owner.
It's hard to believe some of these shorts ever got made -- but it's great that the Rifftrax folks got hold of them. There were a tremendous amount of laughs during all the shorts, and the variety of short features kept the subject matter quite varied. Even though none of the shorts were beach or summer related, Rifftrax Live: Summer Shorts Beach Party was a very fun way to spend a summer evening.
The Rifftrax folks love to make snarky comments about terrible movies -- and there's oh so much to make fun of in Samurai Cop, a bit of 1990s cheese that pretty much fails at every level. So Rifftrax Live: Samurai Cop was a great evening of fun.
The movie opened with fake movie trivia, comments (including New Cop Movie Cliches), and comedy songs. Then Mike Nelson, Bill Corbett, and Kevin Murphy took the stage. They began with a black-and-white short film -- Manners in School -- where an animated chalk stick figure teaches an obnoxious kid about manners. Fun as that was, things really kicked into high gear when the trio took on the feature.
It's hard to describe just how terrible Samurai Cop really is -- and Nelson, Corbett, and Murphy jumped on virtually all the movie's flaws. The "hero" gets nailed for everything from his long flowing hair ("Cher wig") to the banana hammock he sports through far too much of the end of the film. His partner seems to specialize in making goofy faces; he's also the butt of a lot of ethnic "jokes," but as the hosts reassure us, "It's not racist if it's incoherent." There's some sort of police war on Japanese gangs, and the body count is amazingly high. Apparently samurai cops will ignore their guns to fight bad guys with martial arts or swords. A villain is brought into a hospital room hidden in a hamper. There's painfully sexist and explicit "flirting." Lion heads appear for... some reason? And the phrase "shoot him!" takes on hysterical meaning.
Rifftrax Live: Samurai Cop was a delightfully silly evening at the movies, from the opening fake credits to the final song about the feature.
Rifftrax and Mystery Science Theater 3000 have numerous points of overlap -- much of the same cast, the format of mocking bad movies -- so it makes sense that the hosts of the former would unite with the stars, past and future, of the latter. Rifftrax Live: MST3K Reunion Show dvd brings them all together for an evening of a few memories and lots of shorts being riffed.
As always, Rifftrax is hosted by Michael Nelson, Kevin Murphy, and Bill Corbett. These MST3K alums riff several shorts (including the "classic" Shake Hands with Danger) and introduce the guests. The guests, in turn, share a few quick memories of MST3K before engaging in their own riffs. We have Trace Beaulieu and Frank Coniff (Dr. Forrester and TV's Frank) joining forces to riff. So do Mary Jo Pehl and Bridget Nelson. And for nice continuity, so do MST3K's first and upcoming hosts, Joel Hodgson and Jonah Ray. There's also a nice 10-year retrospective of Rifftrax, posted below. And if that's not enough, there are not one but two riffs featuring everyone -- including one with George Reeves' Superman trying to get the audience to buy stamps.
As a huge fan of both Rifftrax and MST3K, I would have enjoyed a panel discussion of these folks chatting about their experiences with making fun of terrible movies. But that's a project for a convention panel. This time they took on terrible shorts -- and the results were terrific. Everyone had terrific chemistry, the riffing was very funny, and getting them all together was impressive. If you like Rifftrax or MST3K (or terrible shorts getting their comic due), check out Rifftrax Live: MST3K Reunion Show. (The DVD also includes the fake credits that play before the shows, plus photos from this event.)
There are plenty of ways to celebrate Halloween -- and I was fortunate enough to catch Rifftrax Live: Carnival of Souls on the big screen on Halloween itself! Comedy may not seem like something for Halloween, but it worked -- especially with such a bad horror movie.
After some funny opening movie quotes and trivia ("The razorblades actually make the apples taste better") accompanied by songs from "Weird Al" Yankovic and Jonathan Coulter, the Rifftrax trio (Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy, Bill Corbett) took the stage and their microphones. They began with two terrible shorts -- "The Dirt-Witch Cleans Up" and "Masks of Grass" -- then jump into the feature. And while Carnival of Souls may not be quite as bad as other movies they've riffed, it still supplies plenty of fodder for comedy: endless organ music, a near-total lack of acting, an over-the-top scuzzy male creep, pale zombies or ghosts, and a lead actress who goes through almost the whole movie with a blank stare.
As always, the jokes fly fast and frequently. There are digs at Utah, Golden Corral, Wonder Woman, and even subjects of previous rifts, like Birdemic and "Shake Hands with Danger." And the trio are in fine form, with numerous laugh-out-loud moments and leaving the audience happy (and unable to take Carnival of Souls seriously ever again). Rifftrax Live: Carnival of Souls was a fun and funny evening for Halloween.
Japanese kaiju movies, featuring giant (and fake-looking) monsters, are ripe for both joking and mockery. So it's natural that the Rifftrax folks (Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy, Bill Corbett) would take on this genre. They joked about Godzilla and Gamera back on Mystery Science Theater 3000, and they take on what should be the least-threatening giant monster in Rifftrax Live: Mothra.
After the opening fake humorous slides ("Please. Call me Larry." -- Lawrence of Arabia) and riffing on the short "Soapy the Germ Fighter," the host trio tackle Mothra. And this movie has plenty of kaiju elements that make good fodder for jokes: a radioactive island, tiny singing women, a bumbling reporter, and the destruction of obviously fake sets an towns. ("If you're a matchbox collector, this is like a snuff film.") It also doesn't help that moths aren't inherently scary, the title monster doesn't appear until after 1/3 of the film is done, and when she finally appears she's a giant grub.
While there were a few slight lulls of joking during the movie, Rifftrax Live: Mothra was a lot of fun. There were plenty of laugh-out-loud moments, and anyone who thought moths were scary would be hard pressed to defend that position after seeing this. I'm not a fan of kaiju, but I remain a strong fan of Rifftrax!
The original Sharknado left so many unexplored areas and unanswered questions that a sequel was required. No, that's not right: It was just a terrible movie that somehow became popular (under the "so bad, it's good" theory) and so another one was made to milk more money out of it. Fortunately, what's painful by itself can be transformed into comedy gold with commentary. And that's what got me to see that abomination of a movie: Rifftrax Live: Sharknado 2 -- The Second One.
Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy, and Bill Corbett certainly have plenty of bad material to work with here. Following the short "Parents -- Who Needs Them?" ("the film that made a young Bruce Wayne burst into tears at Gotham Elementary"), they jump into the sharky badness. As for the movie itself, it's largely the same as the original (most of the cast, terrible CGI sharks, rapid switches from rain to sun), only it's set in NYC and, owing to the popularity of the first movie, there are lots and lots of d-list "celebrities" making cameos. The trio have fun riffing it all, whether it's Mark McGrath's pseudo-celebrity as the former Sugar Ray lead singer, Tara Reid's... well, her presence, the heroes' insane plan ("Marvel super villains thing this plan is outrageous"), or the Statue of Liberty's head rolling down streets after the heroes. ("To hell with physics!")
Possibly the scariest part of all this is that this month, Syfy will be airing Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No! (There was a preview at Rifftrax Live, and it's exactly what you'd expect.) There's no way I'm watching that -- unless it's part of Rifftrax Live, in which case there's no way I'm missing it.
Here's a sentence I never thought I'd write: The Crappening has begun and it's off to a great start. The next four-movie set from the Rifftrax folks (Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy, and Bill Corbett) began last night with one of the most famously infamously bad movies of recent years: Tommy Wiseau's The Room. This piece of cinematic dreck got the treatment it so richly deserves (no, nor ironic midnight screenings) at Rifftrax Live: The Room.
After riffing on the final "At Your Fingertips" short (best described as sad children making crappy toys that float out of garbage), the trio take on The Room. That movie is a virtual parody of itself, from writer-director-star Tommy Wiseau's inability to write, direct, or even speak clearly with his incomprehensible European accent, to the terrible plot and acting, to an actor being replaced halfway through the movie. The Room even has its own famously bad lines, such as "Oh hi Mark" and "You are tearing me apart, Lisa!!!" (both delivered by Wiseau).
This much self-parody is amusing in itself -- and it supplies the Nelson, Murphy, and Corbett plenty of material to work with. There are numerous pop culture references, from the present (Bill Cosby, Obama and Biden) to the past (the Red Shoe Diaries show). The trio have a lot of fun with Wiseau's accent ("I'm going back to BrazilaRomaniSlovakia!"), the numerous and terrible sex scenes (which lead to the creation of the sadly accurate phrase "hip-dick"), the people wearing tuxedos playing football, and lots, lots more. When all is said and done, The Room is so terrible that comments like "And now, some cars" and "I have cancer!" seem perfectly reasonable.
Rifftrax Live: The Room was tremendous fun with a tremendously bad movie. To conclude with another sentence I never thought I'd write: I can't wait for the rest of the Crappening.
Christmas is a season that, for many children has come to incorporate Santa, toys, family, and cheer and good wishes for all. It's also led to Christmas movies that vary from timeless classics to terrible ones. And then there's the 1959 movie Santa Claus -- a truly awful one that, among other things is a poorly dubbed Mexican with mixed mythologies and a surprisingly racist opening. In other words, it's perfect fodder for making fun of -- at Rifftrax Live: Santa Claus delivers.
For this holiday movie special, Mike Nelsion, Kevin Murphy, and Bill Corbett (dressed as an elf, or "North Pole Person") have plenty to work with. Following the fake preview items ("You sold your ears to get me these slippers? I sold my feet to get you these earrings!" -- Eli Roth's Gift of the Magi) and a short about making Chrismtas ornaments out of sugar, they dive into Santa Claus. This movie has Santa and his multi-ethnic and stereotypical workshop of children, plus Merlin and a shirtless blacksmith. On the other side, there's Pitch, Satan or a demon or a devil or something out to destroy Santa and therefore Christmas (and dance awkwardly). There's a girl who wants a doll, a rich kid who wants a brother, artificial reindeer who'll disintegrate in the sun, and Satna's tendency to gas people.
As often the jokes come fast and furious, whether it's pop culture references (from The Honeymooners to Inception), calling the movie out on its stereotypes, or referencing the deity "Craig." (The latter makes sense in the movie.) There are numerous laughs, and it's a nice contrast to the usual Christmas sentimentality; and if you're tired of Christmas songs and specials, the source material will make anything look good by contrast. Rifftrax Life: Santa Claus is another funny celebration of a terrible movie -- this time, with curly shoes!
SNAAAAAKE! Ahem. I've been fortunate enough not have seen Anaconda, a giant snake horror movie that somehow managed to star Jon Voight, Jennifer Lopez, Ice Cube, and Owen Wilson. That changed last night, thanks to the comic comments of the Rifftrax crew of Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy and Bill Corbett. Rifftrax Live: Anaconda had lots of terrific comments on this terrible movie.
Before the feature, Rifftrax Live: Anaconda featured fake movie trivia and items, riffing on the Halloween short "Halloween Party," and a preview of the next Rifftrax takeover of the National Geographic channel. After that, it was on to the wretched feature. Most of the jokes centered on Jon Voight's inexplicable horrible accent and odd facial expression. But there was plenty of other material to mock in the movie, from the cheap special effects of the snakes to the infamous "waterfall flowing up" to Ice Cube trying to sound and act tough in this movie. The results were very good, as there were lots and lots of laugh-out-loud moments (not to mention frequent Owen Wilson impersonations). Rifftrax Live: Anaconda shows that the Rifftrax trio can create so much fun with so much bad material.
