DARK SHADOWS

A supernatural soap opera may sound like a creation of Tim Burton, but the new movie Dark Shadows is his take on the television soap opera of vampires, witches, and ghosts. And despite some camp, the movie may be too close to the original.

LAS VEGAS

Las Vegas is famous for its glitz, glamour, gambling, and sex ("what happens in Vegas..."), so it was the perfect setting for a prime-time pseudo-soap. Las Vegas aired on NBC for five seasons, following the action and sexual escapades of the employees of the fictional Montecito Casino and Hotel.

Las Vegas centered around Danny McCoy (Josh Duhamel, most famous for his role in the Transformers movies), ex-marine and protege of Ed Deline (James Cann), former CIA agent and head of security at the Montecito. Danny also had a fling with Ed's daughter, the flightly Delinda (Molly Sims). Danny's buddy Mike Cannon (James Leisure) is a valet at the Montecito who's also a computer genius. (The show later eliminated the valet job.) Danny's childhood sweetheart Mary Connell (Nikki Cox) also works at the hotel as a special events director. The whole cast didn't revolve around Danny: there's also hot African-American-with-an-English-accent pit boss Nessa (Marsha Thomason) and Sam Marquez (Vanessa Marcil), casino hostess. The final season eliminated characters Ed, Mary, and Nessa and brought in new Montecity owner A.J. Cooper (Tom Selleck) and Piper Nielsen (Camille Guaty).

Remember the elaborate casino security in the Ocean's movies? You won't see much of that here, as the people in charge of security run around after crooks and cheats. Then again, Las Vegas is as much about the sexual comings and goings of the staff, quirky people and childhood sweethearts finding love, lots of celebrity appearances (hey, at least the show "killed" Jean-Claude Van Damme!), and lots and lots of beautiful people in expensive suits or skimpy outfits.

Las Vegas is, simply, shiny fluff. While there are occasional attempts to make the show "serious" (like Danny being sent off to war briefly), the show is all about seeing how the beautiful people play. I strongly suspect Caan and Selleck did the show for the paycheck alone -- and none of the other cast members really stand out. If you want a show that's silly and a soap with a big budget and less intrigue, you may enjoy Las Vegas. Me, I'll pass.

Overall grade: C-
Reviewed by James Lynch

90210

Between the popularity of pre-teen soap operas and nostalgia for anything slightly old, it's no surprise that the 1990s teen soap Beverly Hills 90210 got an upgrade as 90210. With its combo of conspicuous affluence, forced pop-culture allusions, and excessive "serious" problems for these kids, the show resembles the MAD TV parody "Pretty White Kids with Problems."

In 90210 15-year-old Annie Wilson (Shenae Grimes) and her adopted brother Dixon (Tristan Wilds, who may be the first African-American regular on any 90210 show) move from Kansas to Beverly Hills so their father Harry (Rob Estes) and mother Debbie (Lori Loughlin) can take care of Harry's mother Tabitha (Jessica Walter), an over-the-top former movie star. It doesn't help the kids that Harry is the new principal of West Beverly Hills High School.

This being television high school set in a rich area filled with nothing but beautiful students, Annie and Dixon feel overwhelmed (even though they're as unnaturally attractive as everone else). Pretty soon Annie has made friends with rich beautiful brat Naomi Clark (AnnaLynne McCord) and "rebellious" blogger Silver (Jessica Stroup), while Dixon has made friends and enemies on the lacross team, plus a friend in journalist cool guy Ryan Matthews (Ryan Eggold). And Ethan Ward (Dustin Milligan) was a semi-boyfriend of Annie's who is now cheating on Naomi and still has feelings for Annie.

Not complex enough? The two-hour opening also has: a student stealing from friends to pay for drugs, Naomi plagiarizing Annie's paper, a repeated gag about fellatio, a secret revealed in a text message, Annie going from stage worker to part of the play, Dixon being kicked off and brought back on the lacrosse team twice (wonder if this'll happen every week), a "not-so-sweet sixteen" party, Harry surprised to learn his high-school sweetheart is now an obnoxious mom who had his kid, Naomi and Silver once being friends but now at odds with each other, a date on a private jet, and samples of four current music hits in the first three minutes. Also, Jenny Garth and Shannen Doherty, from Beverly Hills 90210, are there for no other reason than to attract fans of the first show to this one (as is the character Nate from the Peach Pit).

I'm not a fan of soaps, shows featuring hot underage boys and girls (when the big 18-34 demographic drop to 15?) or the original Beverly Hills 90210 -- and 90210 did nothing to change my opinion. Everyone's cool, hot, and clever, their cliques aren't interesting, and the teen crises are almost bathetic in this world of affluence and beauty. If you want a superficial drama with love triangles and something approximating teen angst, you may enjoy 90210. I won't be revisiting this zip code anytime soon.

Overall grade: C-

Reviewed by James Lynch