If you see two pop stars from the 1980s (and one from the 1960s), cheesy CGI monsters, and an incoherent story, it can only mean one thing: a Syfy Channel original movie. This time around it's Mega Python vs. Gatoroid, which pits giant snakes against giant gators -- and Debbie Gibson against Tiffany.

Animal-rights activist Nikki (Debbie Gibson -- oops, Deborah Gibson) frees some pythons from a lab into the waters of the Florida Everglades. They start killing off the alligator population, so police officer Terry (Tiffany) does the logical thing: opens hunting season for pythons, so drunk rednecks can wander around shooting. When that ingenious plan doesn't work (and Terry's fiancee winds up as python food), she comes up with a more ingenious plan: inject raw chickens with anabolic steroids and experimental growth chemicals, then feed them to the alligators! What could go wrong?

Judging by Mega Python vs. Gatoroid, everything could go wrong -- and did. It's no surprise that neither Ms. Gibson nor Tiffany can act, but the talented A. Martinez and Kathryn Joosten are wasted here. Syfy Channel may have established a niche for CGI critters eating humans and battling each other, but seeing fake snakes and alligators (what exactly is a gatoroid, anyway?) chomping on people and lumbering/slithering around gets old very quickly. There's also very little entertainment from Ms. Gibson and Tiffany insulting each other, dropping titles from their songs into their dialogue, and having a catfight-food fight. And what's Mickey Dolenz from the Monkees doing in this?

Mega Python vs. Gatoroid. I saw it, so you don't have to.

Overall grade: F
Reviewed by James Lynch

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