Snakes On A Plane (2006)

I had heard that Snakes On A Plane was dismal, but I decided to watch it anyway. You may recall that the studio kept this one under wraps, and kept any advance screenings, and thus critics away, relying solely on some type of internet marketing scheme. In the end, that was a wise move, as this film is simply a flop.

Samuel Jackson lends his credible star power to the effort, but it can’t overcome the weak script, and clichéd dialogue. The plot revolves around a star witness against an organized crime boss. They need to get him back from Hawaii to California for his testimony. The criminals decide not to simply shoot the witness, not to bomb the plane, but rather to load the 747 full of poisonous snakes. This has to be the dumbest plot idea since lasers on sharks in Austin Powers, and that was a spoof, and at least humorous.

A few hours into the flight, we have snakes slithering around the aircraft, chewing through avionic wires, and hissing through the floorboards. I don’t generally like flying, and I like snakes even less, but all of this combined to be more outrageous than anything else. Adding to the ridiculousness is that the snakes are obviously computer generated animated, and just not too realistic. It simply appears that they are superimposed on the scenes, and they are never convincing. This type of film could have redeemed itself on the special effects, but clearly only dropped another notch in this department.

Adding to the ludicrousness is that there are no snakes anywhere on the Hawaiian Islands. That’s right, those reptiles without legs are not even part of the natural ecosystem, and they are banned from being introduced onto the islands. Even tourists get screened from bringing them in, so it would have taken a really big smuggling effort to bring in that many snakes. Of course, it’s not impossible, but the whole premise is not too plausible to begin with.

Overall, you can add me to the chorus of critiques that feel that Snakes On A Plane is a complete bust. There is simply no reason to recommend this film to anyone for any reason.

Overall Grade: D

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